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Chris Gaither

The Chaos Theory of Everything, or, My Wife Knows Everything

“A chaotic system does not settle into a predictable pattern due to its nonlinear processes”

I have a prediction to make:
We can’t predict the ending
But when it’s all said and done
Everything will seem obvious
 
For example,
I still argue with my wife
Even though
I’ve never won an argument with my wife
 
Obviously

Other works by Chris Gaither...
Green Eggs and Ham Is a Sham

If you Buy it You might Like it
One of the First Things to Go When You Lose Your Mind Is the Theory of Mind

It used to be that We could feed our souls By serving others Or feed our egos By serving ourselves
Crypto Is for Show Because the Flow Must Go On

At bottom crypto mining is just another form of extracting fossil fuels But the crypt keeper knows that the best way to hide somethin…
Eight Rhymes with Hate

It took years of therapy but the octopus finally arrived at… that the reason she didn’t like th… was because they were so much alik…
 2
 1
Over a Barrel

During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity
Around the World in 27 Years

I know the world is round from experience: I ran from the truth for so long that I ran smack into it
Augmentation by Redaction

In the state of nature You live by the sword And die by the sword In civilization The pen is mightier
Imagine a World Where Nary a CSA Vegetable Goes Straight to the Compost

Acting locally solved climate change but now instead of a life or death situati… which at least had a degree of rom…
Believe in– phrasal verb 1) To have faith or confidence in the existence of (something) 2) To have confidence in a person or a course of action

There are two kinds of people in t… Those who believe in God And those who believe in God But also believe in God You can tell the latter
Oh, the Humanities!

The trick is to craft a conformism so elaborate that you convince yourself it’s bespoke
A Compromised Heaven

If the world exists on a continuum between utopia and dystopia but instead of polar opposites utopia and dystopia are both hell then at the exact midpoint
@TheRealSustainability

The Fed has one lever to pull– interest rates– to keep all of us consuming
Love Is an Appearing Act

The One Ring had it backwards The one thing that bestows power is
Lying Works Half of the Time so Truth Has to Work Time and a Half

The truth is always at a disadvant… because while you can harness truth in service of a lie you can’t tell lies
Haiku

Decisions my wife doesn’t make are settled by stare decisis



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