Both my parents were tall and I ended up a shrimp Not coincidentally, my diet has al… largely consisted of pink flamingo… though scientists insist that it’s…

After you’ve uploaded everything t… and run the lot of it through the… be sure to recycle, but keep a lit… perhaps in a locket around your ne… or, if you go in for irony,

With the same hubris That got us into this mess In the first place We like nothing more than to decla… Global warming is man-made

When Mao said “Everything under heaven is in utt… he went on to kill 60 million of h… When Xi Jinping said “Everything under surveillance is…

When they shut down Ringling Bros… a down on his luck clown looked into a second career as a m… but was informed that the mimes were only accepting applications f…

Your brain doesn’t know the differ… between physical and psychological… knowing only what they have in com… Because both are life threatening your brain sends you into fight, f…

You can use the Force or you can use force and the Force will use you because the Dark Side or the Light Side

Slow and steady wins the race If there is no finish line How do you win If you can’t finish first? If you’re the one

My wife– All 5 feet of her– Busted me out of prison So that I could get back To a life of time

Caught between a rock and a hard p… we will sink or swim: Sink like a rock or swim in a hard place– the opposite of walking on water–

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

If you have to ask how much pursuing it will cost you then you’ve already given way on your desire

We expect a fiduciary relationship with our financial advisors and all they do is help handle the money Yet we so often fail

Pacifism is the ultimate weapon For if you can prohibit your enemy From defending himself Then all that’s left Is to love him to death

They can’t kick sand in your face if your head is al– ready in the sand