A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family
The ugly duckling Is not a duck But he is a lucky duck
Everyone wants to live forever because fear is self-perpetuating No one wants to overcome the fear… because courage is selfless
If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA
A memory hole should be just deep enough to bury yourself up to the neck– Any deeper
Time is money But time stops at the speed of lig… Which means the buck stops, too Making enlightenment the act of ta… For how you’ve spent your time
The first and most important task when you’re joining a non-hierarch… is finding out who’s really in charge The first and most important task
Haunted by conflicted feelings in… my therapist and I finally traced… when I preferred Pepsi to Coke and McDonald’s to Burger King but B.K. served Pepsi
You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling
Breathe in not out
As you age getting enough exercise in futility becomes more and more a portent
Time tells a story and linear time is a plot device we’ve made up, call it a time machine, to advance the plot
Why is there something rather than nothing? Because nothing is impossible
The wrong crowd used to let things get out of control Now the wrong crowd has the best
If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock
