(to every word you say, even the one's that hurt)
You have no idea how godly i first thought of you
how when i seen you i felt like the dirt below your shoes
but iv came such a long way in learning
how many humans flaws are yours.
I’m human and i’m no issues with stating
that my mind my memories sometimes fade from me
for forgive my lack of holding every word you say
i cant remember all them even if i hold dearly onto them.
But yet you claim i don’t listen
like i maliciously turn off my brain when you open your soft lips to speak
and yet when i say sorry for forgetting or not fully understanding something
you call me names and ask like i’m that dirt i once thought i was.
I’m not dirt
and i’m not below anyone human or godly.
I love you dearly but the words “i’m so sick and tired” are stick to my tongue
cause i’m so sick and so tired of being loved 90% of the time.
I’m not demanding you love me whole hearted i’m just confused as to how i can love you even when you hurt me openly calling me a name openly telling me i’m flawed when the flaws you claim i have i know i haven’t got.
I don’t want to be loved 90% of the time if the other 10% is wasted and used to hate me.
Used to slyly call me names.
So yes i listen.
But i’m limited on how much listening i will waste on the words sorry and the names i’m called.
I’m limited in my life and the time i have being human to waste time on fighting with someone i should be wasting time with loving.
So stop wasting the time we have on holding stupid childish tantrum throwing fights
cause frankly i’m not wasting my life with even the smallest bits of remorse or hatred towards myself anymore.
I’m fully grown now and i’m sick and tired of hating myself so if you must hate me make it 100% but if you love me hurry up and caught fast and make the words you think i dont at all listen to less harsh.