Not Today
The LATE Great...
I’m late, but this story wouldn’t make Breaking News,
Punctuality has always alluded my intelligence.
Today would be a prime example of my timely abilities;
Or an exemplification of their absence.
I hastily egress from the premises,
Meanwhile checking my text.
47 New Messages
All from my girlfriend, oh wait....ex.
On the front door, I see a yellow slip.
It reads: ''EVICTION NOTICE’'
And in letters a sightless cyclops could see.
Today’s a war—I’m begging for a sympathetic armistice.
Many things to tend to later, though I couldn’t be later.
My Oldsmobile starts making bizarre sounds.
The way today has been going,
I guess It’s only right my car breaks down.
Finally at the the video store, where I work,
And I’m yearning for a gratifying nap.
I find myself dozing off, while restocking these films.
Eyes got so heavy that I knocked over the whole rack.
Lunch break, something I can look forward to.
Time to pay for my meal, but I can’t find my wallet.
My supervisor just saved me from super embarrassment;
He called me to his office, before my hand left my pocket.
He showed me a video of why there’s no sleeping on the job,
Afterwards uploading it onto YouTube.
Once he finished laughing, he fired me.
I couldn’t evade the feeling this gave him sadistic gratitude.
At this point, I just want to go home, and go brain dead.
Nothing to do now, except cash my last check.
I get to the bus terminal and ask the guy for the next transfer.
Imagine my reaction when he says “It just left.”
I arrived at the bank without a nanosecond to spare.
It looks like I’m starting to lose this bad luck fever.
In the nearby alley, I’m poked by a cold, steel finger.
I tried to explain I wasn’t in the mood, but he wasn’t either.
Home in sight, and what do you know, a drunk driver;
Speeding down a one way, the wrong way.
I try to hurry across the street, and get swept off my feet.
What a subtly poetic ending to my lucky day..
