coming to you live from the ripe of old age of 27. the last pre-covid memories i have are from my 26th bday in san diego. life seemed to stop as soon as i got home. and then it was 365 days of uncertainty and anxiety. i cried– a lot. i had panic attacks. i *missed* so deeply. i cancelled plans. i felt self conscious. i got angry. i witnessed loss. i fought. i burned out. it fucking sucked. for the millions of people who lost their loved ones, who were marginalized, belittled, assaulted, and killed, the last year was some fire-bending, devil went down the georgia, old testament type shit. when recently asked about my 26th year, i was immediately overwhelmed with horror flashbacks.  but upon reflection, that is not the whole truth. i am privileged to say that my last 365 days were also glorious. i lived. i work up every morning. i took 17,000 breaths a day. i asked questions. i listened. i witnessed. i became an even stronger advocate. i saved lives. i conquered the impossible at work. i opened my mind. i explored. i spent countless weekends in this breathtaking PNWonderland, and for the first time in 3.5 years, i truly felt like i belonged in it. i basked in the sunshine. i frolicked in the snow. i climbed mountains with my person, who became my fiancé. i learned to pack light, and then even lighter. i got stronger. i found lost lakes. i wrote poems. i sang songs. i read. i danced. i laughed. i turned an old ream into a reality. i invested. i vote. i said fuck the patriarchy. i realized that getting a little better every day is the real feat. i trusted. i relaxed. i loved. this ear was unique. it was a challenge, but it was also beautiful. i recognize that i may be the only one feeling this way. maybe writing this down and giving these thoughts life and meaning is insensitive to those who are no longer walking this planet. if you are hurting, i am deeply sorry for the darkness you were thrown into. you are not alone. but for me, at this moment, with the sun warming my face and happy tears welling in my eyes, i am the at the mercy of my overwhelming positivity.  i can’t have my 26th year be darkened and tainted by viruses and politics. i need the light to shine through the clouds. im headed into 27 with happiness and excitement and gratefulness– for my charmed life and the people in it. for you. if you’re reading this, thank you. truly. thank you for loving me and supporting my through thick and thin– pre and post pandemic. i would be nothing without you or the lessons I’ve learned from our relationship. you heave helped shape me into this strong woman i am today. i am eternally yours. cheers to my 27th year with our Mother Earth. may she always guide us to our truths and fill our hearts with joy.  and may the next 365 days be sweeter for us all.