Polyphemus Hurt by Schtick (Apologies to Abbot and Costello) When Ulysses poked out Polyphemus… The giant ran to friends, who hear… “Nobody blinded me!” —but then he…

Thoughts on Cloning Someday the labs will make routine The methods used to clone me. But when my own’s an irksome teen I fear I might disown me.

Gimme That Ole-Time Religion Needy ancients were aggrieved If prayers’s goals were not achiev… And beat the god in stone or tree For what they thought its treacher…

She believes in doing things right… She would do anything for anyone i… it helped a person be closer to he… She would never eat a lamb chop wi… just as pork hocks must accompany…

The Jacaranda in Spring (Near Rhyme) What discount art inspired this ta… Eleven months a year you’re quite… Too dark and gaunt, we thought, to…

The plank is narrow, more narrow than when he started; he could slip off at any time. The wood is slick, too, threatening again a premature plun…

Bank Caesar An angry man, conceived and birthed in cars, weaned on dumpsters, reared in shattered rooms

Academic Editors I hate the callow ones who think t… And have therefore the right to cr… I hate the ones who charge me twen… So I can try to win a ten-buck pr…

American Ethics An ancient joke tells how a kid wh… his parents out of rage or just fo… Then cons the judge by citing all… He’ll surely suffer as a lonely or…

An Abomination* Ice-gleamed streets, sky an ebony… and a girl accordions her tiny car into the back of mine. She, carmine-streamed, head throug…

The world sneers at our schools: our knowledge of geography just enough to locate Disneyland; mathematics puzzling esoteric; chemistry and physics the province…

“Saint Chris’s statue on my dash Will surely keep me safe,” he said… But then one day he struck a pole And hit the dashboard with his hea… Oh, woe! Six-inch Saint Christop…

The Futility of Action Our lives are sprawled in a meanin… where aims benevolent or evil, sel… eventuate in tortured remnants of… where Christ’s counsel of love to…

Vocations Envy those conjoined to function: ballerinas shopping in fifth posit… humming coroners ladling brains silent Harpo honking his horn

One morning Leda, sitting on the… Saw Zeus appear transmogrified to… She heard too late the honks and w… And so with godly force he conquer… (Some skeptics say she could have…