My Abbreviated Heart
By J Ann Crowder
Enmeshed in this pruning shrink of words playing verbiages, depreciating a beauty of mind, resounding inside my soul, shrinking me in size, diminishing all my inner soul songs wanting desperately to sing, yet lives my tougue caught on a hook & ensnared like binding rib cages too small, killing all the breath in my lungs
Talons are these hooks of festering falcons going mad with a depravity bound to the awfulness of their own soul songs crushed
Depriving my identity of the fairness she deserves, to be living on a plateau of shear likeness in her soul to the gallantry of sun horizons skipping off into distances of rising skies, immeasurable in glory
Worth is immeasurable, left bare & open like soft blue skies awake, left bare & vulnerable to those soaked in the muddy silt of depreciated soul, unappreciative of her beauty & tapestry
They project untruths onto my soul as they attempt to feel free if but for a moment in time
I take it in like raindrops upon a thirsty mouth, only it burns, scorching my tongue & throat, but I am thirsty
It’s a gifted parcel the sick & grieving for soft touches of heaven’s truth diseased me with, depreciating my soul in an effort to appreciate their’s, only it doesn’t work, so the line repeats itself into an oblivion of meaninglessness & pain as I stand stiff & ensnared by those wild talons of fear & soul crushing shame boundedness
I am emotionally besotted to this stage, but not forevermore
Because it’s not my parcel to unpack & not my disease to heal
I give it back!
It’s no longer mine to carry!
I can’t unpack what is not mine!
I can’t carry a burden that was never mine to carry!
I give it back to unfetter my heart, to free my golden tougue & give it words to breath music whilst I begin to appreciate the stars in my eyes I never beheld before now
This once abbreviated heart can now find her wholeness, extending it into the full capacity of her glory, like a horizon melting into a blue paleness of heaven
Abbreviated heart no more! Now appreciated heart, expanded heart! Not partial heart, not dwarfed heart, & dare I say it louder no longer an abbreviated heart! But a wholehearted heart, truly whole. An expansive heart, immeasurable and as wide as the pale blue heaven wrapping magical horizons within it’s arms of immeasurable magnitude, together becoming one singing, reverberating soul song touching freedom
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