I rose, then fell
I rose in the rain
Where my bones feel the sweetness of nature
And yet I cannot hibernate this
It burns in me like the cold wind that abounds
And you harbor thoughts
Thinking about me as a leper
And I cannot undo what has been done
And I swear to you, angel, that there is more
But it is true I still yearn
Hoping of better days
Wishing the spring would come
Because it can’t always feel this painful
But you must light your head upon this thought
That the words that were exchanged
Brought about a demon in me
That has been haunting me since 12 years old
I thought I killed him
But the sweet words that i hoped to hear
Are like daggers piercing my skin
And I will have to carry him like a burden
Because now i am forsaken
Without a single hope left
And there is no one who can heal this hurt
Because no one was there that day
In that dark bedroom,
aligned with cowboy sheets
Am I heart pallid
And I scream to a person who is not there
And all I wanted was someone to relieve these thoughts from me
That storm my mind
And make me a slave
To anger, hatred, loneliness, and heartache
I need to be relieved
To feel love so I don’t have feel violation
And thats what I hoped you were here for
But I was mistaken
And I curse the day the thought entered my mind
Because you made all that come back
And I cannot even think sometimes
Its like razorblades slicing my very flesh
And so now I wish for a prayer
That may keep my safe at night
When I sleep
Because Im terrified
And Im unsure what my brain has in store for me
I wish you were here
But I know you will never be
Things changed
I know, I changed them
But I need someone to keep the demons away
If for just a night.
