I was birthed in madness
I was birthed in madness
Amidst tumultuous waves
Of strained voices
And unspoken hearts
Love neatly set under bills
Yet to be paid
Later to be dealt with
After all else was reckoned
Life came crashing into my skull
All too fast, too sudden
To comprehend anything
Everything was just noise
A rapping at the brain
Metal gears working in reverse
So can help it, really?
Maybe the love I bear you is selfish
That you quiet everything inside
Turning off the scolding water
Filling my brain with jasmine petals
So I can be at peace
That for one minute in this puny life
I can not think about it
I wish I could explain how I feel the madness inside
How it seems as if I’m being split from hair to toe
A constant gnawing
Where I’m not even my own person
But a puppet against my will
You calm that
When I dote on you, I don’t think
Im just consumed
By feelings of joy and gentle hillsides
Like the stories i’ve read
Where people do live happily ever after
And love abounds
But when your image moves from me
The graves move closer
My demons come out to play
And that room rapes me
Controlling every muscle I own
Every good thought turned to ash
Till al that remains is blackness
Covering the land of my brain
And aim naked on the floor
Cringing; unable to move
Unsure of who I am
My name and life dissolves in pain
And I pray valiantly for death
Because it can’t be worse that this
Yes, you were right
It does seep from my pores like sweat
It’s the very essence of me
And it has been since I can recall
I can’t help what I am
None of us can
Life has played us false
But if you can’t be my saving angel
I guess I doomed to walk in the darkness
Where although hellish
It’s all i’ve known, so I guess it’s home
That’s a sad hallmark card
So yes, I need you. More than you know.
