You are open
You pierced me last night
Broke me into shards
That I am still cutting myself upon
Spoken truly I was not prepared
I guarded; as you are open
Leda, please don’t leave my side
I am close-mouthed this evening
As I pour over your notes
Making sense and then undone
Until I feel worse
I’m just not able to meet your gaze
It frightens me, I’m numb
My wounds open back up
And fall into the darkness
October has made a mess of me
I cannot see 2 feet in front somedays
I’m blinded by my inability
To take a hurt and deal justly with it
So I retreat into crevices in my own brain
And tell all else to disappear
Even you, and I’m sorry
I was unjust, childish, and petty
But all this was never meant for you
I hope you realize you are dear to me
These months mean the world to me
And I understand I made a disaster of it all
I am on bended knee
Asking forgiveness
Sometimes I don’t even know what I do
I’m in the dark
And I’m sorry, Leda.
I can’t bear it if you hate me
It would be like dying
Slipping off our earth into another
Please don’t move your face from mine
I can’t bear it
There are centuries of love and faith between us
