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Easy to Dream But what’s harder then live’n

I think we all try to be good people but it’s just things you go through that make you who you are.

I remember mom’s smoking dope... that was ‘94/ can you imagine, picture yo mother lock’n you in a closet just to get high fuck’n her lungs up with crack smoke/ you see, me and my brother’s grew up heartless we ain’t have no hope shit that’s how it is when you come up in poverty and you used to see’n black lives slain to an overdose/ no drug addiction but my grandma damn sure was an alcoholic though, she was a whole different woman with a shot glass and some tunes from stereo/ on ya mark get set you ready, here we go, I was only 12 years old when I was introduced to weed smoke, caught a contact at one, two I was no older then 4, I ain’t have no guidance / faith or a lick of hope, sad to say I wasn’t wish’n look’n for a father/ a joke he was a Jackass you know Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, I never knew him so his funeral is a place I made a vow to never go. Troubled as a youth sick and out my mind I was moke been through some shit just the thought of it all will leave you comatose. I’ve seen darkness been places you wouldn’t dare or want to go like while she was off get’n high I was 1 or 2 years old crawl’n out of an open window of a house from the second floor, my mother wasn’t a queen nah she was more of a hoe, so our crib wasn’t a happy place it was any and everything but you couldn’t call it a home, so much traffic the way men used to come and go you would’ve thought our house was a mothafuck’n grocery store, so I can never trust a chick there ain’t no such thing as faithful, she spoon feed me that reality when I was just barely sit’n up in my high chair. But wait I won’t stop there let me push the agenda I’m 14 now hear’n words about how her water broke and I’m still live’n wit my moms she live’n off the government and I ain’t have a job don’t ask the question to something you already know the answer to, want me to spell it out for you, yea niggah I was broke, I wasn’t an adult/ fuck I’m still a shorty yo. Help with what raise who my moms was still stuck with some of the same traits from 1994, some shook they heads while others let me know a man handles his business the one that doesn’t tend to his seed doesn’t give that seed any jewels to grow I’m lyin the streets gave me that prospective that and Father Time and at the time in my so young mind all I could think about was the things I had to do to survive not to mention I got a kid now how I’m s’pose to provide that’s when it came to mind in the bible it told you jesus turned grapes to wine niggah this pistol in yo face will make yo dollars turn to mine, it was late night cold out think it was winter time niggah my conscience went south only thing I remember is coming off harsh with the butt of a nine. 3 and a half my max was a dime here I am a convicted felon at the age of 16 sentenced to state time.
John LoyaltyCame1st Thomas

“The Struggle of an Absent” feel free to go check that out online at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iTunes and GogglePlay thank you .

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