Broken Child
When you’re a kid
No pressure no worries
You go outside and you play and you scurry
When my parents split up
They seemed to laugh
But the little attention I got
was just cut in half
It was my mother who left
It was rare in those days
She moved far away
It was my father who stayed
My father’s presence became less and less
At twelve years old I should not feel stress
I did not understand the feelings I had
The void of love in my life with an absentee dad
Soon with a friend I tried some pot
And the wall that it built I liked it a lot
These unknown feelings needed to fade
So I took some pills to keep them at bay
But I took too much and I didn’t stop
I over loaded and began to throw up
I’m looked at by doctors and some family was there
There’re all disappointed, they’re so unaware
I try to find love anywhere I can
when I think that I found it I still feel sad
Every day in my heart, I feel an empty hole
it keeps chipping away at my depleting soul
With blood red eyes that would scream for help
I would look at my father but he’d only think of himself
It’s a temporary fix for something so deep
So eventually I took that unspoken leap
I reached for the cotton which I put in the spoon
And I pierced a vein now I’m on the moon
It’s been 18 years and I want to get right
I want to be normal but I can’t last one night
I run back to my habit and the wall that I’ve built
To forget all the loneliness and pain that I felt
The next dose I take to forget all the pain
Is a bit too much and I go insane
I grab my stomach and I grab my back
Everything tightened and then it all went black
Again they rush me to the emergency ward
my family expects this and they’re all so bored
But this time is different and I promise I’ll change
My fears and my hopes I’ll rearrange
They’ve heard this before and it’s turned into lies
They all gather around me with sorrowful eyes.
Finally it’s calm and I don’t have to run
Because they close the lid
And the pain is gone.
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