Beside Myself
Standing next to you is so surreal, there’s a lot of questions I’ve yearn to ask. I’ll just start from the beginning,
Why do you dwell in so much anger?
Why do you blame so many others for your faults?
Why is trust such a major issue?
Why do you not see yourself for who you really are?
Why do you question your own capabilities?
Why do you settle for so much less?
In regards to the first question, the anger is the way I mask the pain, in order to live with who I’ve become, I’m forced to find someone else to blame.
Trust is the easiest way to get hurt, so its something I find it hard to discuss. It seems no sooner than trust is given, trust is given up.
I see myself as what I am, even if its not meant for me to be, its because of this reason, I inhibit my capabilities.
I’ll not say that I’ve settled, but I can say I deserve more, its been my own fearof failure, that has me trapped behind this door.
I’ve accepted it as retribution, instead of addressing a solution.
In my mind I’m seeking the answers, which is somewhat asinine, when I dont even know the questions just assumptions and suggestions.
Therefore if the answer was right in front of me, I would be to blind to see, they say knowing is half the battle.
I guess the rest lies within me.
(2014)
