It’s easy for all of you to say just to let go. It’s easy for you to say I don’t need that negativity in my life. I hear four close people of mine saying I should just move on. The only person I can’t hear is me.
I’d be letting go of everything. The jokes, memories, and every conversation. I’d have to let go another part of me. None of you can comfort me, so it’s easy for you all to say what you wish. I’ve already lost a best friend. Yes, things turned out horribly now but it wasn’t always this way.
I am the one breaking over this. I am the one crying over this. I am the one who is denying how I actually feel just so that I don’t break down. This past Saturday I completely shut down and cried. It finally hit me that I lost Brittany forever. It finally hit me that I lost one of the closest people to me. The one who I told my biggest secret to.
You all can say what you wish but this hurts me than I can ever actually express. Hell, more than I even know. More than I care to admit. Please, just let me take this in. I can’t handle losing more friends, and none of you can help me. You can say what you want but right now I just want to find my voice. I can’t hear myself anymore, and I’m already losing myself.