You want a normal relationship,
with hugs, kisses, sex and love.
You want someone
who will love you unconditionally,
will make time in their day to see you,
someone who will make you special.
I can’t be in a normal relationship,
I don’t know how,
I don’t know how to love myself,
how to be with someone,
I don’t want to be around people
when I can’t stand myself.
You can dump your shit
on me but I can’t help
not when I can’t handle my own problems.
I can’t help it,
I don’t know how, sometimes I don’t want to know.
I just want to cry in the darkness of my room,
to do everything you hate me doing,
to call myself fat, point out my weakness,
to bleed, without you
hovering and bothering.
Wanting to talk, wanting to see me.
I just can’t handle it.