Just (About) Married
My companion,
My happy burden,
That walks with me now
And ten years ago all at once.
Once, my husband;
Hands I had to help me,
Now, my darling automaton;
Whose hands I hold to hold alone,
Leading,
Leaden,
Caress only cold.
But at night when he sleeps,
I will sit and be still
By his side,
Hearing the gears and pistons
Of his heavy breathing,
A body working on
Without a mind.
I like to think that,
In the blackness of his thoughts,
Like the blackness of our room;
Sitting just behind billowing gossamer curtains,
There is a garden for him to beam upon again;
Our first kiss?
Our wedding?
Forty-three years of bliss?
Though he can never say,
Perhaps he clings to them...
Perhaps, as much... as I.
It is a hope that keeps me awake all week,
And for longer it makes me cry.
