Another World
Arms wrapped around swollen belly,
I downed my fear; questioned my sense;
prayed
for strength, for hope;
that prayer for forgiveness; for thanks
and waited
for her– my blessing, my heaviness.
Push, breathe, push, breathe, push,
breathe…..puuussssshed into this world
with unrestricted affirmation
she greeted me squalling protest
with arms thrashing, legs pumping
tiny fist balled in defiance
she was in my world now
A place where you push down passion
because dreams get in the way of survival
where you run to lag steps behind,
tired and defeated
never put down load carried
panicked
you may not have the strength
or wherewithal to pick it back up,
place foot in front
of beleaguered foot to move on.
Placed on my stomach she nuzzled
for the safety she would never know again.
I could not swaddle her innocence
or protect her from her world inherited
She, born to know deprivation
and empty stomach
keep you in your place put downs,
smack downs, knock downs,
black eyes and split lips,
born to suffer my choices
Instinctive hands reached down to push her
back into my body; back to her warmth
un-do this thing I’d just done.
awkward fingers hung onto the noise
burdened my moment of second thought
drew her into my skin
infant wail waned to a whimper
felled quiet into deep new breath
we lay silent; united
Another world created
(2001)
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