You know, I miss you both Like I miss my childhood blanket That I wonder idly about.

I cannot bring myself to cry. I can’t decide if this is a curse Or a blessing.

Farewell to friends, The kind that push. The word constantly bends. I live a life of isolation. While others play in their bubble…

I cried out to God, And There was silence.

While I’m alone, He’s with her. While I’m crying, He’s kissing And rolling

I can’t cease to think about him. His bitter way only warms my heart… He frightens me and excites me. He always heightens my senses. He makes my heart hurt.

That red ribbon is so wrinkled. Rouge like blood Or rushing anger Or a blaring stop sign. It’s crumpled:

How can somebody Who loves to explore Be so afraid to leave?

With him, It’s like there were no scars. There are no sheepish looks No burning shame. There was no John

Then he said, “I never said I was… Then I said, “I never asked you t… Then we kissed.

She looked like innocence And felt like sin And died like grace And fell like a bird And fell like a bird

Dignity is death.

I wish I wish I wish I could swim in oblivion. Have a tummy full of pills.

I forget how to love When I’m gritting my teeth Because I’m a fucking hole/ Nothing’s coming out of my mouth n… Because I don’t love my mom,

You’re young. You’ll feel better. You’ll get better Eventually. So much time to feel better.