You are Awake
You are awake
Another sorrowful morning
Sun illuminating through stain-ridden windows surrounding,
with no luminary seen,
always being sought for.
In bed longing for an endless sleep yearn for dreams to cease when awakened
Rising lights from broken earth speak of nothing but timeless
darkness closing in, despite these open fields that burn blindingly while distant trees recite dying alleluias Believing the hymns no longer than we believed in a sign, a martyr, a leader.
This is your reality.
But it’s not reality when you come to find what was really shining through the windows that morning. Dragging a heavy body that doesn’t feel like own, reaching upwards
You now realize why they call it a window “pain.”
Flames throwing themselves mercilessly upon the ones adored, hearing names called in the midst of it all.
Stay silent
Pretend not to hear your name, they must be crying out towards someone else.
Pretend to not smell burnt flesh
The same scent scarred into your unceasing memories
Undeniable, when looking down at your palms
See the countless expressions of ones you didn’t save
Roads that could have been paved
Gold and silver
Instead splattered red
Pretend you don’t see friends fleeing with nowhere to go.
Imagine that it isn’t your fault,
you lost your voice screaming while being looked down upon, the victim.
Falling to the floor in despair
No way to repair
what has been done.
Wondering where the sun has gone
Wishing to believe it had been with you all along
If only one soul could’ve heard your silent screams
Could’ve heard these heartfelt pleas
Maybe one would have been unchained from the strife
Free into their afterlife
You missed the chance to be the hero
So deciding to start over, back down to zero
How many could I have saved?
One does not know until they try
Counting the multitudes who died
Guilt has been running circles on thoughts for years
Countless tears
Piercing screams in your ears
You lost your voice waiting for your own despairs to pause
But when were you ever put at peace?
This guilt is not your own,
So now
pretend that you are human.
That your voice is still your own
And there will be chances further down this gold and silver road.
Redemption in the slightest
To know
That you are
Awake
