Darkness creeps in,
Sourounding me with fear.
it enters my pours,
Cause my breathing to stop
Only leaving fear and dispear
Along with its brothers anxiety and doubt
The feeling of giving up
The yearning the throw in the towel
Not having the strength to do even that

Simple task seem enormous.
Life seems so far
I see myself in the distance,
Slowing walking away.
With ever blink my vision is blurred
My disease becomes welcoming.
Telling me that im home,
That here is where the heart is and he will keep me warm.
I jump to his offer, not wanting to hear more.
Im tired of having to feel,
Im tired of having to be hurt.
No longer shall I have to be afraid.
He has me where he wants me,
On the verge of saying yes.

Then these words eminate from all around me.
“It’s going to be ok.”
Where could these words be coming from.
Not from my mouth because I know its not.
They appear from the distance
GOD and all that watch over me.
Showing me LOVE.
Showing me HOPE.
Tears begin to caress my cheeks.
They burn at the touch.
Combined of both mine and theirs.
“We feel your pain, and know that you are not alone.”

The faces of my angels seem so familar, knowing Ive seen them all along.
Walking with me through all my troubles
Holding me when I fall
Giving me that extra push when I could no longer give it my all.
For that second I can breath.
For that moment I feel at peace.
I no longer have that worry.
No longer have that doubt.

My travels seems so distant.
Recovery seems so far.
“Just remember this my child. We will always be here. You may not see us but just listen. Listen for that second, take in that breathe. You will hear our wings flapping, getting ready to catch you if you fall.”
The chill begins to fade.
The warmth starts to heal
I begin to breathe.
My breathing becomes steady.
My body stops shaking
My heart begins to beat.

I know I am worthy,
As I am a child of  GOD.

Truley I still feel that void that wants to be filled.
The void of darkness
The void of fear
The void and sin.
I hear the whisper.
I hear the bang
I hear the screaming
It slowing starts to fade over time.

I shall fill it with love.
With people I need
With people that will help me,
To be the person I am meant to be
The person of happines
The person of trust
No longer will I give in to the sins I once found most dear.
Today I am with GOD and thats is where I will stay.