It’s really hard for me to picture you
living the life of your dreams.
I just always thought
we would experience things together.
Everyone I speak to
thinks ill of you
for how you treated me.
Like I was an option.
The truth is you couldn’t sit still for long,
as you always new that
there was more out there for you.
Experiences maybe I’ve unintentionally
held you back from.
I was so scared like a light balloon
if I let go– you’d just float away.
I realized the more I held you
down with me,
the further I sank.
And you ran anyways.
Sometimes I picture this red balloon
floating off in the distance,
Touching upon new people.
I wonder if one day you would hit a branch
and burst, and come back to the ground.
Maybe you’d realize what you had done.
Your part in it all.
I wondered if you’d float right back
on down to my balcony,
so we can watch the sunset together again.
The thing is for so long I was so angry,
I told people how much you had hurt me.
I got them all on my side as I spoke ill of you.
I lost sleep for days, and this weight grew
heavy and the guilt was thick and stale.
I released my anger, and realized you left
to teach me how to live.
You did what you want
without a thought,
and I was a casualty of that.
Many people were,
you lost many people.
But in loosing you I found me.
So thats why I reached out,
thats why I said sorry.
Thats why I wished you well.
You gave me an opportunity
to start a whole new life.
The truth is, is when I let you go
I soared so high I could no longer see you.
That I came back down to say hello,
to wish you well.
I was very happy to hear from you.
I knew you were too.
As the words fizzled, so did you again.
I figured maybe one day we’d float
right back towards each other,
get stuck on the same tree and talk again.