Lost All Reason
I am so concerned to I have missed the show,
The Worlds been turning and I’ve been standing below.
I’ve been in another place, and now can’t start the race,
My mind’s out of season, and I have lost all reason.
When I go to sleep and close my eyes, and the darkness falls,
My mind lights up, and the day, and the past it recalls,
Just so many things to search for and to find,
Everything passes through me, even though in sleep I’m blind.
These thoughts are so vivid, like real events they seem,
Which of these are in real time, and which of them are dreams?
Special thoughts have been taken, but I remain and I am shaken,
Is my mind out of season, and have I lost all reason?
There is something on life’s edge that I know I will need,
Before I can cross that very last bridge and proceed,
Some kind of understanding that if achieved shows the way,
But if lost will leave us forever in our darkness to stay.
I’ve been searching and looking for that which I had,
For that by my deeds has been lost in my own path,
How to recover that certainty, which once I did have?
But my minds out of season and I’ve lost all reason.
(2005)
Note: After the sudden death of my son Chris, like many who have suffered such a loss, I went into a deep decline that was difficult to climb out of. One way of doing that for me, I found, was to write stuff down, put down my feeling on the page, to help express some of the grief some of the sorrow. What came onto the page was a surprise to me, and this is just one of many poems/lyrics that came into being from that grief…I do very much hope that the poems I have written, will help others who find themselves in a similar situation to “climb out” to find a way back.
