He-man Proof Bottle Caps
Heave-ho he-man of he-man might,
twist and turn and fight fight fight.
Bottle caps are made for babies to twist
and baby rental agencies are here to assist.
Before you smash the bottle against the wall
and run naked through the streets and all,
or kick the dog and piss on the cat,
rent a baby to figure how to turn the cap.
Baby proof bottle caps are baby toys,
fun fun fun for tiny girls and tiny boys.
They can bang on them til they all fall off
and watch them falling down so soft.
Or if I can’t get a hold of a super duper baby,
then I can use dynamite to set it free.
If they can open the bottle with their banging
then TNT will do the job without failing.
The proper solution is to never get sick,
and never call upon babies to do the trick.
Sometimes maybe they won’t be there
so you’ll just kick the bucket anyway unaware.
If thou art a soon to be kick the bucketer
then suicide is the best solution for the better.
Medicine bottles caps are too complicated
and with no babies around, you just can’t wait.
So it’s good-by cruel world and
you cruel medicine bottle cap makers.
You are among the worst of all my haters.
So this is a lesson for all you babies
of the whole wide world.
Keep your medicine bottles away from
your he-man type daddies,
because if he tries to open them,
he’ll go berserk and go away to
the nut house and never come back.
.
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