Fluttering bird
my heart is seated fluttering in a cage.
rambling, raging, rumbling at another pace.
and I am here, quiet as a snow storm,
look at me, I am still pretty, and still an avalanche.
in a way life is brewing my personality
into this unapologetic mess–
and yet somehow,
like an iridescent disarray–
I walk, through every day, looking up
it takes too much courage!
I crumble into bed, each night in disdain.
it drains me to remember, it’s not my fault.
But ME, and this heart, and all of it–
it is so fragile, you’ve got to stop breaking it/
more finer shatters, and I’ll be a sand wall
my very being will graze significant cuts
make it bleed every single time that we touch
There is only so much a heart can take–
how much is it that I cannot mark a definitive intake
for after each dawn, when I bounce back
I’m unfiltered and respawned like in a silly game
and baby I’m alive, so there you go–
go ahead and break it again.
I’ll cry and cry, and cry myself deserted
until those dry tear trails get accompanied by a smile
and then I’ll hurt and hurt and be in complete misery
laugh, for I can no longer cry myself to sleep.
and I’ll throw myself out there
still petrified of each word I utter to make it go wrong
cause for sure it is my fault and I adore
I adore the way you will walk away,
like you were only a quick bedtime tale–
Come yet another day,
I’ll wake up and I’ll fake a smile–
a fresh face, I’ll put my self out there
once again. Let’s see what can go wrong this time–
in between, I’ll meet some honest men
smile, cause then it just turns into a fun game
how this time around, would life give and take
a taste of what could be, but never will be–
So I’ll smile and you’d even say I glow!
I’ll jump around in cheer,
and paint myself on a meadow
and the world won’t know how badly it hurts.
how it kills a part of me each time,
until maybe one day I’ll be so dead inside
that nothing no more would ever make me stay
I’ll be this fluttering bird you try to slay,
who would’ve broken in rage from its fucking cage!
