I wanna cry -
I wanna cry
Screams an old me
Trapped within the thick walls
Of my mind.
The monster has woken up.
Im terrified. I am petrified.
It takes over and it screams.
I hear it throughout the day
In between my mundane
Disturbing my rythm
It flips me upside down
It screeches inside out
It wants to take control.
It takes over.
My hands shiver
My lips tremble
Vision blurs.
Words struggle to– speak
I walk endlessly, fully paced
I bat my eyes to clear the tears
My lips curl independently
I cannot hold a smile, or even a straight face.
I wanna cry. I wanna cry so bad–
But my mind wants to fight it
And im stuck in between
On display to those around me
Curious, concerned eyes greet mine terrified
Unspoken engagements inquire if im alright
Concerned hands approach and i run away
For the whole is a heightened mess
One touch will shatter everything
I run, i run away into the forests
Maybe burry myself in the snow
Stare at sun, everything is getting dark
Im afraid of the dark!
I wanna cry. I wanna fucking cry!
Tears fill my eyes and never roll down
The gulp in my throat wont let me speak
But it wont let me scream either
I wanna cry! I wanna scream!
Im tired and im fragile!
I want for everything to end!
Every every thing to just end–
Take me, home?
I dont have a home–
Take me to the middle of no where
And leave me.
Leave me and it’ll be between me and God.
And ill bury my face kneeling down to him
And ill whisper into the ground,
And then when my tears will flow into the earth
The heavens will rain, and sprout some faith
And ill hold onto those saplings and paint
Paint new dreams, paint better skies–
Never let the sun set, but hold it just above the horizon
And hope i never wake up to reality again.
