Caricamento in corso...

The Organisation

I was taught I was not whole on my own
I was designed as a helper of a man
That I was worthless and small in the eyes of God
And my family and friends would abandon me in an instant if I ever left
They taught me not to get an education
To abandon my dreams
They said I was not worth celebrating
My birthday was meaningless, I exist only to worship God
They taught me to surpress my natural sexual desires
To shame my own body
That taught me slut shaming and victim blaming
That told me what to think, watch, act, wear and say
I could never do enough, give enough, sacrifice enough
They taught me to feel guilt, so much guilt
Guilt for being too happy, guilt for being too sad, for not doing enough
They wanted my obedience and loyalty but never my intellect
They took my youth and replaced it with hollow promises of 'paradise’
They taught me conditional love
That the word hates me, I don’t belong
People on the outside are a threat
They taught me to live in fear
Armageddon was always looming
They almost convinced me my life was not worth living
Almost
I started questioning things
But I quickly realised there were no answers
So I let go... I thought I would fall
I thought I would be broken
Maybe I was for a little while
But in the absence of their instructions and demands
I didn’t break at all
I bloomed
I flourished
I grew
I lost my faith, my community, but I found myself
I’m brave, I’m strong,
And now I’m forever free
I’m free from their Organisation

Altre opere di Sarah Jane Danielsson...



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