Life changes in the blink of an eye. Everything can be different a moment from now. Good, bad or neutral my life can be totally different with a choice, without a choice, with the intervention of whatever God or Gods there may or may not be.

Life for me lately has stood still like a three ton stone. Some things have changed, but the foundation has not. I feel trapped and suffocated by the geographical existence of my person. I have been left behind more than once in the last year. Left in this prison to either fade and be forgotten, or, to make a choice and change everything in the blink of an eye. The latter is what I have chosen to do.

Without change I cannot grow. Without the pain of change I cannot grow. There is nothing more frightening to me than making a choice and not knowing what outcome lies on the other side of that journey, but it is time to move forward. I cannot keep waiting on things to change for me, or people to change for me or to choose me. No, I cannot keep myself in that place of torment because the truth of the matter is that I will always be the only one that chooses me. I have to own that and let that truth give me the power I need to push forward into that unknown.

There are people that I wish were going on this journey with  me, but I know that I have to do this anyway. Only I can make or break myself. I have to let go of the safety nets that I have held on to for so long just for the sake of not feeling alone. It is terrifying. There have been times that I have cried over that fear, but everyday I am getting more and more sure of myself. The more I hear the people around me tell me that I can, that they believe that I can, the more I start to believe it. The power of words still amazes me to this day.

I hope that I am not on this journey alone forever. I hope that at some point, some day there will be someone to take on this adventure with me. But until that day, I will do this alone. If that day never comes, I will continue to do this alone. After all, that is all we are in the beginning and in the end.