She Got Up Early
she got up early
but her heart wasn’t in it,
she said she’d do it
and that she meant it.
she was going roughing
with her bestest buds,
but first she had to find
some stylish duds.
so she searched for days
for the perfect dress,
it had to be flawless
and she’d not have less.
but this sort of thing
was out of her norm,
besides it was cold
and she had to stay warm.
so she settled for an outfit
that promised her glory,
it resembled the little brother
in the Christmas story.
they were coveralls
the color of army green,
but easily managed
when in the latrine.
she hated them
because they made her crotch sag,
so she called her mama
and started to nag.
mama said honey
you’ll not be scene on that plateau, besides it’s the opposite
of a camel toe.
so she accepted her situation
and got a grip,
and loaded the truck
and took her trip.
and she straddle her razor
and won all of their hearts,
and now she’s know as the ashsicle
with the saggy private parts.
