The devil’s one job Is making you an offer You can’t refuse And there’s only one thing The devil can’t offer

People keep repeating the same mis… Until they learn their lesson But what if the lesson is that History repeats itself? If you’ve skimmed your Nietzsche

So, how did we survive? We felt God’s Presence OMG, we would have never thought…

It would have been enough Had God merely kept His promises But since He knows a thing or two About human psychology God always under-promises and over…

I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

The annoying thing about blenders Is how loud they are But then again My mouth functions as a blender And I’m a loudmouth

I was a bullshit artist until I realized a career as a bullshit scientist paid better

On a scale of one to ten One being the lowest Ten being the highest Rate yourself Then imagine

The central paradox of our broken world is known through the feeling of unsurprised disappointment Hope is the belief

Reasonable people can disagree By agreeing to disagree But unreasonable people Can’t disagree on anything So, they have to agree on everythi…

I try to win but I don’t play to win; I play to play

As you age getting enough exercise in futility becomes more and more a portent

Hunting on your own might make you a lone wolf but thinking for yourself makes you a lone ant

We’ve all learned to speak interne… Rendering us one people divided By a common language Of zeros and ones Convinced we’ve broken the code

We already had the unconscious– A vast mechanism to shield us from… And it is so vast Because we are so very wrong But now, with the internet