People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…

The first half of life: Did I say that? The second half of life: I did say that The end of life:

Whistler’s mother had just spent a long day with Whis– tler’s mother-in-law

At first we thought This changes everything We weren’t exactly wrong But, of course Everything is highly adaptable

In my third marriage I went all in on being present in the moment When she left she said that being with me

In the same Talking Heads song the “road to nowhere” is both a “road to paradise” and the way “they can tell you what to… and “make a fool of you”

The three day seminar culminated with walking across smooth sea glass and still cutting our feet

You don’t really know someone until it becomes clear that you don’t really know them

In the end no one could be held accountable for the catastrophe not because there weren’t plenty of warning signs

Liberalism deepened by religion Religion widened by liberalism Until the body and soul politic Is so deep That it swallows our fears

At first moving heaven and earth is its own reward because it’s hell on wheels But self-flagellation

You know a hipster is aging gracef… When he comes to see that Objects in mirror Are closer than they appear

Beginner is talking yourself into doing what you are going to do anyway Advanced is talking yourself out of doing

Slow and steady wins the race because there isn’t any finish line

She believed me when I said that my life was based on a true story