Those who can do talk shows Those who can’t teach others to show, don’t tell
It took years of therapy but the octopus finally arrived at… that the reason she didn’t like th… was because they were so much alik…
I tried doing everything right Until I dug a hole Took a right turn at Albuquerque And realized There are no straight lines in my…
Gaslight, gas bright First-class I seek tonight I wish I may I wish I might Have the wishful thought
When our mirror stage was over we didn’t just lose the mirror we also lost the stage In replacement we got a screen (for screening out…
I have a prediction to make: We can’t predict the ending But when it’s all said and done Everything will seem obvious For example,
I’ll give you the forest And I’ll take the trees You save the whales And I’ll keep the bees The sand in your eyes
I want to believe in God I believe in UFOs I don’t believe in recycling I don’t want to believe in what th…
In a real life version of the ugly duckling discovering s… I was the reject popsicle stick who at long last found out I was a handy tongue depressor
I’m not afraid of jumping in front of a bus because I don’t want to jump in front of a bus I am afraid of
The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed
Were I not happily married to my Jewish bride I would have happily lived out the rest of my days none the wiser
Asked to account for his success w… he explained that he drives his ca… like he won it on The Price Is R…
My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control
Physically unscathed after a life of piracy he was forced to lean heavily on his emotional scarring
