When they closed all the beaches my dad said not to worry and I just knew he’d install the swimming pool I’d always wante… Instead, I came home from school
I could do a passable moonwalk in socks on linoleum but if I put on one glove I had to take off one sock
I was one of the ones who craved religion without religion This, apparently was easy to arrange But now that I’m longing for
I’m always leaving things at church so the lost and found won’t be empty
Everyone wants to live forever because fear is self-perpetuating No one wants to overcome the fear… because courage is selfless
Not much has changed but now I’m a glass is ten per– cent full kind of guy
Happy me, happy precis: Happy wife, happy life
When we asked Jesus to explain the mechanics of the last being first He answered in yet another parable… It’s like when you’re playing tug…
Whenever I hurt someone I’m sure that I’m a honeybee about to die But it always turns out that I’m…
Bureaucracy’s biggest sin Is malingering as democracy– Bureaucracy sees the will of the p… As a form of madness But pretends to follow the will of…
No one who desires to be good believes themselves good; all those who believe themselves g… do so in service of their true desire
Charles Horton Cooley said “I am not what I think I am and I am not what you think I am; I am what I think you think I am” Before the like button
It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between self-effacement and self-abasement In the former he stays down to earth
I used to stand on the moral high ground to look myself in the eye but now that I’ve plucked it out and thrown it away
Thinking that the purpose of life… things looked good enough on the s… to believe that my life was 24-karat gold Who knew that the purpose of beaut…
