Haiku, by Chris Gaither

In East Germany they had a planned economy and an old joke: I pretend to work You pretend to pay me

Like Ikea fur– niture, I am difficult to put together

The Presidency Reduced to a Device in the Divorce Plot

It took the spies of Five Eyes to tell that Putin wasn’t bluffin’ But just ask the staff at Five Gu… and they’ll tell you Trump’s MacG… He longs for Daddy’s approval

Thesis, Antithesis, Synthetic Biology

Past– I know what I want Therefore, I need someone to tell… so I can go ahead and do it Present–

Make No Mistake

In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes

Fear Is Where the Magic Happens

The fear of God is hard to define… Like many things You know it when you see it Which is whenever you witness some… Summon the courage to do what must…

Aging Gracefully Means Keeping a Lot to Yourself

As you age getting enough exercise in futility becomes more and more a portent

The Logic of Our Times

In a bit of irony the only thing that both sides can agree on is that a win-win is intolerable

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Brand Loyalty’s a Bitch

Haunted by conflicted feelings in… my therapist and I finally traced… when I preferred Pepsi to Coke and McDonald’s to Burger King but B.K. served Pepsi

Hell Is the Place You Stay for as Long as You Try to Stop the Pain

Bringing the unconscious into cons… Is a process of increasing your to… Miraculously It is simultaneously the process For increasing your tolerance of t…

Fear God, for God Sees Through You, but Fear Not, God Will See You Through

Can you outrun your problems? Maybe, if you could run at the spe… But we’ll never know Because, as Einstein explained Running at the speed of light is i…

I Can See What Went Wrong and I Know Who to Blame

Let there be light blight and hindsight

The Internet Is Our Blindfold and American Spirit Is Our Cigarette

To be an apparatchik In our collective dissolution of… It matters not Which side you take Just as long as you remain

And the Winner Is

The worst part about giving every kid in little league a trophy is the way it has emptied all the… out of acquiring

Whenever It Looks Like Batman and Robin Are Climbing a Wall with the Batrope, It Is Just a Camera Trick; We Too Face a Wall That Becomes the Ground Beneath Our Feet the Moment We Believe, Grasp the Rope, and Take Our First Steps Up the Wall

You don’t have to believe in God But if you don’t I believe you will hit a wall That wall is the limit of your thi… Since you will only be able to go

Chris Gaither

Haiku

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