You’ll know whether you’re there to make things better or to make yourself feel better by how you react when you’re told you can do better

I’m no angel But I have two angels– One to protect me from others And one to protect me from myself So, I was never alone

Free will consists of recognizing the inevitable and choosing wisely

Capitalists and Socialists Have two things in common: Neither of them wants socialism And they both want control and pow… Capitalists want to make lots of m…

Our brains are just big enough to operate eight fingers and two thumbs An octopus is smart but if it also had

Time is a one way road that only goes forward so that you know which direction t… but you can still go the wrong way down a one way road

God looks down and sees all of His good kids making bad choices God is one but decides to speak to us

Not to be outdone I cut my face off to spite my nose

I was never one for playing the field but I was really good at standing on the sideline worrying over my equipment

We mistake the feeling of control for the feeling of freedom when freedom actually consists of the courage to take risks Those who encourage us

The cold war was a just war but a just war is still just war and war is hell

The screen you’re looking at seven hours a day is actually a magnifying glass

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

If the truth were merely regarded as false it might still have found its purpose but once degraded into

The Cheshire Cat and Schrodinger’s Cat couldn’t agree on a place to meet