Note that the male tes– tes are exactly the size of small potatoes

Breathe in not out

On business trips to Moscow I never wear my three piece suit

It’s a sign of the times that No matter the path you take You will know you are finding God When first you become an embarrass… And only then receive

I still believe that anything is possible It’s just that now nothing would surprise me

The second we try Patience Is the moment we stop trying God’… Patience

When I put a period at the end of my text message it means that

I survived my humiliation By treating it like a joke Through becoming a joke myself In order to in turn survive my bec… I became a running joke

Do me a favor and riddle me this: Is he favored to win Because he’s our favorite Or is he our favorite Because he’s favored to win?

Much of life is boring Which is also why Life is so funny

You keep the peace they get everything else

My soul is the sole part of me My body makes me one of us My mind is made up Of body and soul– So, just like you, I am

I’m getting much better at recognizing my wife’s subtle hi… like when she recently put mosquit… over her side of the bed

Every time I screw up God says what He has to say and then He says Over and I always think

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo