We all know what time it is– It’s time to get to work Unless it’s Shabbos Which is timeless Making Shabbos the whole

In the first half of life I tried it your way and succeeded which is how I got over you In the second half of life I did it my way and failed

We used to say Hold the phone Metaphorically Because we were about to say somet… Or because we needed to stop and t…

Being human beings Pacifists are just as obsessed With wielding power As everybody else And just as pathological as those

Nobody invents themselves so we’re left to choose between perfecting or reinventing ourselve… Nobody’s perfect of course

Faith can only move mountains by ignoring mountains of evidence Like most people who’ve lost their… I’ve retained my ability to ignore mountains of evidence

The opposite of modest isn’t immodest, it’s honest The opposite of immodest is confident

I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food

The distance between zero and one is infinitely greater than the distance between one and infinity

Unlike Saul, when the scales fell from my eyes I learned I was a serpent, sheddi…

At the end of life you can either say I brought it or I bought it

The best way to feel in control even though all control is an illusion is to stand in a line

I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed

It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak

Everyone makes fun of the weatherman for getting the forecast wrong as if getting it right is his real job