Life used to be hard And that’s how we liked it So much that we used to say Hurry up and wait In the understanding that
I don’t have a TV because I would watch it Instead, I watch my mouth
Having heard that God is everywhe… and failing to see Him anywhere the unbeliever deduces that God is neither here nor there when, in fact, God is in the air
If you start with being, then Being is meaningless But meaning is never without being Because meaning always comes first
Were I not happily married to my Jewish bride I would have happily lived out the rest of my days none the wiser
I was never one for playing the field but I was really good at standing on the sideline worrying over my equipment
There was no end in sight but we put an end to that by losing our sight And all we could hear was the sound of violence
The jig is finally up When Mr. Cool Goes to shul
Early big bang theor– ists were known for eating quite a lot of popcorn
Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”
The cover-up is always worse when there’s no crime
Al Gore didn’t invent the internet He created a device for the reinforcement of irrational thoughts and behaviors
Puzzles can be solved Problems can only be exchanged
In all my years as warden I could never figure out how to co… with NFPA code 14.14.1.5.1- “Access to exits shall be marked b… readily visible signs in all cases…
Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive