For those who are real– ly asking, the truth is al– ways multi-tasking

Were I not happily married to my Jewish bride I would have happily lived out the rest of my days none the wiser

You have to believe to commit And they think we’re crazy to beli… And would commit us as inpatients If only they had the patience But their patience has worn thin

My mistake was believing that Smart was short for book smart When actually Book smart is short for book smart… I only figured this out

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published

Rare earth metals aren’t actually rare They take their name from the rare earth mettle of ardor, courage, and stamina

In my experience If a tree falls in the forest And there is no one to hear it We all hear about it

Life is a brief window of opportun… And the opportunity of a lifetime Consists of the chance To help turn the wheel of time Which turns everything towards the…

Fox News said it was “Fair and B… which supposedly meant that it was… because it was balanced but really it meant that it was fa… because it wasn’t balanced–

You cannot make people want What they do not want And wanting it on their behalf When you secretly want what they w… Is a selfish wish that your dreams…

Time flies when you’re having fun And the key to fun is wanting Not having

They call it open heart surgery But no one says open brain surgery Because, by default Our minds are closed And the only way to change minds

A student’s job has always been to put received knowledge into their own words or, more simply to state the obvious

It should come as no surprise when the Emperor with no clothes e… Off with their threads!

In Judaism The three most important prohibiti… Idolatry, adultery, and murder In idolatry you abandon God In adultery you abandon your soulm…