Afraid that everything I wanted was nothing to write home about I was left with nothing to write home about

What I lack in hygiene I make up for in sleep hygiene

You can’t break the chain of events but you can break the chain of custody for the chain of events

My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game

Instead of the invisible hand bending self-interest towards the collective good we got the risible glad-hand laughing our selfishness off

I went to bed after a gabfest and had a bad dream that I woke up on, nay in, silent retreat

Rock and roll may be dead but it’s got one of the great corp… like a dead horseshoe crab

The only stipulation they put on our capitulation was against any abrogation in accepting their congratulations

There’s equality And there’s e-quality You know the former when you see i… You know the latter when it sees y…

Wittgenstein let the fly out of the bottle but western philosophy was soon back on the bottle

We’ve gone from treating people as a means to an end to using them as props for pretend

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

A memory hole should be just deep enough to bury yourself up to the neck– Any deeper

It’s a lot easier for men to dwell in the mystery of what a woman wants than to acknowledge what it is exactly that

When I was standing in the shallow end I really believed I was all in only later coming to realize