I’m So Confused
Chicken wire?
Live wire?
Unadorned attire
Ripping apart
One white-knuckled clench at a time
There’s no benign nature in my emotive process
I’m dangerous
Chicken feed
Or chicken dinner
No winner here
Because if I don’t explode
I’ll implode.
I don’t see what you see in me to see
Is to express myself
And ask questions
Because delirious curiosity
Has me left without a word to describe
And transcribe what this emotional mess is:
A fuzzy ball of chaos
That is more controllable than a murder of cats
Chasing crows around the stable
They should be murdering rodentia
But instead the herd of ravens cackle at my mischief.
Where the hell did this come from?
Why are you in detox again?
Were you ever? I cannot even recall because the pain stains my memories
And through that glass all detail is obscured.
I only know my vision.
I only know the pain.
I only know I want to put an object through it
And discover nothing.
Feel nothing.
Empty myself of this madness and exit stage left.
I’m going to fuck off to my own fantasy world
One in which you are upside down
And naked
And even more naked inside
Because I want to tantalize your everything.
I’m not a plaything and I’m not a testing ground for what’s to come.
I am what is here.
So don’t ignore me
Don’t implore me to
Ignore your feelings
As you ignore yourself.
Empty yourself of what is to come
And leave behind what is already left.
Bereft of your image
Signage along the path marking the ways
In which I’m to follow.
Or not.
And with that knot in my stomach I’ll have departed for greener pastures
Until I can sense what is coming from further away
And stay my hand
Lest I strike out and destroy
The innocent little lamb who wandered too far from the fence.
I am on a hunt
All focused prose and poise
And a certain level of primality
That has your hair on end
As I intend to have your body on end
Your nerves on fire
Endless attire
We dance as I disrobe your intentions.
When you ask I shall disrobe you fully
One thread at a time.
The agony of touch
The sweet defeat of release.
You shall crumple
Not for a faulty foundation
But for a weakness of the heart
Pounding and undulating
Overwritten by desires and lust and carnage inside.
That will do just nicely.
23 Dec 23
~C
OK, fucking fine. I wrote it. I didn't want to but maybe I'm tired of fighting.
