You Told Me
You don’t understand how the things you say affect me,
I avoid discussing it because I’ve always been taught to hide what upsets me.
But in case you ever wondered what goes through my head,
I hope you understand once this poem has been read.
When I met you you told me that I ain’t shit.
That I’m destined to tell lies, seduce you then split.
So why when I kissed you did i feel so many emotions?
But you said I gotta act tough. So I just go through the motions
You told me that I’m not cool if I don’t wear those nice shoes.
“A broke dude ain’t cute. He could never be my boo”
So why are you disappointed that I sell a few drugs.
I’m doing this for you. I need money for your love
You told me that i gotta play hard. Don’t go chasing no knowledge
You told me I’m athletic and that’s my key to free college.
So why are you scolding me for mediocre grades?
This jumpshot. This helmet. That’ll pave the way.
You made sure to tell me that you don’t need no man
“I’m good on my own. If you won’t do it, I can”
So it’s hard to imagine myself as a family man
Because I’m rarely mentioned in the family plan
You told me not to judge your hair
“Im proud of my skin. I’m me. I don’t care”
So why do you insist on calling my hair nappy?
Is what makes you mad supposed to make me happy?
You told me its offensive if I call you fat?
“How insensitive. Your mom raised you like that?”
My friend unzipped his pants and she was unimpressed.
She stole his confidence with one group text.
You told me “I deserve dinner, a romantic place.
If you can’t afford that then maybe you shouldn’t date.”
So why you tease me and my friends for lying about how we living?
Why are you now concerned when your the sole reason that I’m spending?
You said “I deserve to be treated like a queen.
I’m special. I’m beautiful. I’m what you need.”
That all made sense to me. “So let me be your king.”
You paused. Then said “wait what you mean?”
I smiled through everything so you don’t know how it felt.
You the reason I’m mad and the reason my heart melts.
I’m deeper than what I may say or do.
Don’t tell nobody but I got feelings too.
(2015)
