Falling and Getting Up to Nowhere
Becoming strong is something anyone can do
Accepting the fact that you are weak is something on its own; as if you were strong to admit you are weak
Funny how those are two opposites; weak and strong
This thing; so stupid and persistent keeps pushing me down
I get up every time, but there is nowhere to go when I am up; it’s a blank white page. I have to start all over again and go in circles of pain; over and over again
Sometimes being down is the easiest thing to do
Staying down is where I am comfortable. I am more than familiar with this lifestyle; so why not keep life easy?
The simple reason is because I don’t want to let myself down. I will not let you take my soul away and torture my physical body while you are at it
Getting back up is the hardest part of my life
They keep telling me that I have support, and yet I am alone
I can’t even support myself, so how can they believe in me when I cannot?
When I am falling down, I fall hard and easy; watching all the great things I have missed
Getting up, I feel that I am climbing Mt. Everest; out of breath due to the air so thin. It’s so cold and clear up there and I want to give up
I see the top of the mountain taunting me but it’s so far away from my reach.
Sure I can just walk back down, but that would prove you right; I am not good enough to climb
I keep telling people that I am trying and trying but they don’t see results, and neither do I
How long until I even see results? How long until I can prove them and myself right?
Time will only tell but I am getting tired of walking along this thin line of uncertainty.
In this I am talking about my depression. I talk as if it is a physical thing; that is what it feels like to me.
