for amber

You told me to hold on to something and never let go
Funny how life works
You told me to never give up on anything
It’s funny how I can remember all the words you said
How I can remember the way I felt when they rolled off of your tongue
Funny how I can replay the state of mind I was in when I laid on your chest and felt the vibration of your vocals rip through your shirt
And how they laid so gently on my heart as you spoke
How I can play back every conversation we had
and ..
How I can see you express your words but I can’t hear your voice
And even when I lay down at night and listen to your favorite song,
I still can’t remember you singing it
And the silence brings me turmoil
The repetition of the shaking and frequency of the wind bring me pain
Wondering, what, through your death do I gain
Trying so hard to move forward but still carrying shame
And trying for so long to find interest in the mundane
Carrying a passion with no mobility
And so I plead with God to take away the memory of you
Remove from my mind the slide shows that so routinely pass through
Cus I gotta have peace of mind
Instead of fast forwarding, I’m stuck on rewind
Trying to steal back the time
Everyday creating illusions that you’re still here
And I go crazy  
Because silence is the reality  
And reality isn’t my dream
Cus my dream doesn’t involve agony
And there you are
Stuck in my dream
So am I
No longer existing when your words became silent
But I gotta get up
And look for that brighter day you always told me about
Though I no longer can hear you say it
I saw you live it
I saw you breathe it until you took your last one
And that’s enough for me
So I won’t forget what you said
I said, I won’t denounce your words because I can’t hear them
Cus I can feel them
I can feel you
So I’ll live loud
Just because I knew you
And for that I’m proud
It’s funny how life works
I was told to never give up
I was told to hold on and never let go
But I think it’s time
Cus I gotta find peace of mind

peace, love, hope, death, life, present, past, future, get up, up, get, move

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Janaviya ♡
over 6 years

Thanks Cory!

Cory Garcia
over 6 years

WoW! Well done sister poet!


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