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Inhibition

I live on the knifes edge
where if I stray
even a millimeter to the left
I am convinced
that any and every flaw
is a deep defining revelation
of my unworthy character.
If I stray to the right
I risk becoming obsessed
with my accomplishments,
my thoughts, a crescendo
of delusions of grander.
I live confined,
imprisoned to walking it straight,
wearing my face straight,
not getting caught up in too much.
And I live in this unsatiated  state
where I need to understand my behaviors,
my thoughts, as a way
to somehow justify everything.
It’s exhausting.

(2014)

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