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Why Did I?

I hate losing the ones I am closest to.
I get into this position of not knowing what to do.
I wish I was stronger to not cry when writing.
I am losing everything I ever cared for by fighting.
I should have just let off and just let go.
I thought if I did I would lose her forever if I did so.
I lost everything over just another wrong decision.
That I missed with just some slight miss precision.
I know that we as people will mess up and do wrong.
But I messed up that I might have lost a love for very long.
I hate myself more than anyone will ever know for the act.
I’m shaking weak and wishing it didn’t have so much impact.
I am lost without a clue with an empty hole in my heart.
Ever since that day in November when everything fell apart.

(2014)

I don't know what to do anymore.

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