There was a young belle of Natche… Whose garments were always in patc… When comment arose On the state of her clothes, She drawled, When Ah itchez, Ah…

The firefly’s flame Is something for which science has… I can think of nothing eerier Than flying around with an unident… person’s posteerier.

So Thomas Edison Never drank his medicine; So Blackstone and Hoyle Refused cod-liver oil; So Sir Thomas Malory

Who is the happy husband? Why, in… 'Tis he who’s useless in the time… Who, asked to unclasp a bracelet o… Contrives to be utterly futile, fu… Or when a zipper nips his loved on…

I would live all my life in noncha… Were it not for making a living, w…

Being a father Is quite a bother. You are as free as air With time to spare, You’re a fiscal rocket

A girl whose cheeks are covered wi… Has an advantage with me over one…

May I join you in the doghouse, R… I wish to retire till the party’s… Since three o’clock I’ve done my… To entertain each tiny guest. My… And if they want me, let them find…

I sit in an office at 244 Madison… And say to myself You have a resp… Why then do you fritter away your… If you have a sore throat you can… If you have a sore foot you can ge…

Any hound a porcupine nudges Can’t be blamed for harboring grud… I know one hound that laughed all… At a porcupine that sat on a splin…

Now another day is breaking, Sleep was sweet and so is waking. Dear Lord, I promised you last ni… Never again to sulk or fight. Such vows are easier to keep

This is a song to celebrate banks, Because they are full of money and… you hear is clinks and clanks, Or maybe a sound like the wind in… Which is the rustling of the thous…

Nothing makes me sicker than liquor and candy is too expandy

Song of the Open Road I think that I shall never see A billboard as lovely as a tree. Perhaps unless the billboards fall… I’ll never see a tree at all.