Dad
Growing up. I grew up in acknowledgement and in praise
Because I was the last child of my mother’s herd
Made to be the good child because my father stayed to help raise me
Though it was only for a little while before he left
Even though my father was gone for good
He never understood what I went through
Because unlike me he was the oldest and spoiled
I was the youngest and would only be spoiled through my dad
Which wouldn’t matter anyways because when I came back home my brothers took it all for their own
But I never told my dad
Because for some strange reason he wasn’t interested in what I told him
He was only concerned about the money he’d wasted
So I figured that’s how it’d be
I figured that if I couldn’t talk to my dad about it I couldn’t talk to anyone on that side of the family
And it’s sad how I had to tell my grandmother for him to actually acknowledge me
So I gave up on him
Because even when he came to get me for the weekend we were hardly together
He’d take me to a park full of grown men and to my aunt’s
That was the routine
It was rare that he’d take me shopping but when he did, I couldn’t pick out my own clothes
I was never able to pick out anything for myself because he was the shepherd and I was the goat
I guess it was a fear that he knew that I’d grow up to be stronger than him
So he tried to keep me in fear as long as he could
But that reign of fear is over because after I turn 18 you won’t have to worry about the decreasing child support ever again
After I turn 18 you don’t have to come get me on weekends just to take me to my aunt’s
Because when I’m 18 I’m legally an adult
You can’t tell me anything anymore because I will be my own man
And no longer you’re slave since you branded me with your name
(2014)
