SECRET UNLOVED
The Serene of three quarters
My special rules and regulations
Spoiled by a crack
From a silly invitation
Drop of the jaw
Slip of the tongue
The truth comes sliding out
Filling your pretty head with what I’m all about
I can’t undo what I know is true
But I wish i didn’t love so easily.
It all came out
Along with my shame and doubt
Followed by a drought
There was nothing for a week
I grew meek
Then a measly tear
Tearing the clouds apart
Tearing my heart along with it
It’s all out
And we’re back to the start.
Fresh start.
Apart.
This time I will be smart.
I wish I could hold that dithering organ behind my ribs
Like I used to hold my renegade tongue
And as I clung to the empty air
Electric with looming heart ache
Waiting to hear what rationally would be fair
I wish It hadn’t stung
As you sat there reading my mess
I wish I was bigger than that
I wish I didn’t care.
Now I am numb
The only feelings I can muster
Are stupid and dumb
Don’t know what to say
Or what I’ll do when you go away
I had false hopes
As lightly as I held them
That one day
We may live together in a house of clay
(2014)
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