I still love you. I still can’t get you off my mind. Thinking about how you are happy now and I am too but not as happy as I’d be with you. I see people kiss and hold each other’s hands and I miss that. But what I miss more is your laugh after a joke I made that you thought was funny. I miss when we’d FaceTime sometimes I wouldn’t even pay attention to what was going on and I’d just look at you and you are the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen. I miss your touch, rubbing my stomach when it hurt. I miss hearing your voice every night before I’d sleep, it was all I needed from a bad day and on my best days I needed it more to hear your voice, and hear that you are happy that I was happy. Now I get the silence, that kills my beating heart. You are still alive, here but not with me. I get the voicemails you have left me months and months before just to hear your voice on my bad nights. I get to imagine how happy you are now, hoping you are. I get to picture you, how when you working on homework so simple yet you look like everything I will ever need is right in front of me. What I don’t get, is you. you are now just the one who broke my heart to some. To me you are the love of my life. You are still the only one I will ever need. fuck people who think I don’t know what love is. Love, it’s unexplainable. It’s the most beautiful thing this world created and once you lose that it is the thing that will kill you. you get through the heartbreak, the tears, the begging for each other back, but somewhere along the way you lose the smiles, the memories you had with that one person. You lose that love, and feel like you are never going to love again. Never open yourself like that to another again. i miss not feeling numb, some days I wish I never met him. Some days I feel like there was something more I could of done. on the rarest of days, I feel like things happen for a reason. I really hope he still thinks about my smile he fell for. I really hope he misses hearing my voice when I’m tired. I really hope he misses my lips as much as I miss his. we move on and find more love than we thought was possible. that’s scary. What is the scariest is I don’t even know if that scares him.